THE OTHER SIDE

THE OTHER SIDE

ENG 110 H5 Writing Back to ENG 110 G.

 

Dear Lyle Massoia and Molly Cadogan,

My “Aha!” moments are very similar to both of yours.

For Molly, I completely agree with your frustration in writing this paper. The topics truly go many different directions and allow us writers to consider many different paths to venture down in the argument piece. Like you, I scrapped my first draft for an entirely new draft. My “Aha!” moment came in the form of understanding exact how I wanted to draft this piece out and writing the way that I felt was necessary and clear to my own argument (or argument lack thereof).

As for Lyle, I had also used David Foster Wallace and Hal Herzog’s writing pieces for comparing and connecting the “troubled middle” concept. This concept is one that had struck me the second I read it out of “Animals Like Us” and I’ve been in love with it since. It describes not only me as a person with my dietary ideals, but also forms a conduit for which my paper could be written in the most grey-area sense possible. My “Aha!” moment came with clarity for knowing of a scenario that fits my paper, and my ambivalence towards both vegetarianism and meat eating, alike.

—Ethan Gagnon

 

Ah-Ha! Moments: What I took away from Galen Arnold’s Ah Ha moment was mainly something I was struggling with as well, which was to make my paper into my argument. Galen talks about how he was struggling to find the right angle of conveying his ideas in a persuasive way. Along with ensuring that the texts that we chose connected back to our main argument.

During my own peer review session, what I left knowing that I needed to work on was making my paper more engaging to my reader by becoming more persuasive. To do so, I just needed to reword some of my phrases to make them stronger. As Galen claims, some of these challenges faced seemed minimal in the moment of writing, but I can agree with the fact that in the long run, these small ideas that could be fixed are what really developed my paper. By changing a few words or adding in a sentence or two in some areas to elaborate, my argument became more clear, which made is a stronger piece of writing. Knowing how essential it is to go back and make edits, while keeping in mind my long term goal, will improve my writing. As well as benefit me in the future when it comes time to make any statement, whether it be in a conversation, an interview, etc.

—Carolyn Nevin

 

Dear Erica,

Both of us had a challenge in the beginning of the paper when it came to balancing our own words with the words of the authors we were quoting. You mention that your peer review session was incredibly helpful, something that I found to be true, and you also mention that you were interacting with the texts too much in your writing, something else I found to be true. During my own peer review, my reviewers noticed that I had a solid argument, but none of my own thinking and perspective to back it up. I was drawing all my evidence from the text, and none from personal experience. A large part of this paper was about our transition from the beginning of the semester to now, and how our perspectives have changed, and both of us had a hard time including that in our beginning drafts.

As I looked back through my draft after peer review, I noticed all the places in my paper where I had an opinion, but I didn’t write it in. I’m so used to writing very detached papers, where my own opinion isn’t supposed to be a part of it, which led me to almost ‘forget’ to add my own perspective in this paper.

After peer review, I went through my paper and I added those opinions, and I explored how they have changed throughout the semester after reading the works of authors like David Foster Wallace and Jonathan Safran Foer. This definitely helped my essay become stronger, and my thesis actually changed a little bit too to reflect this adding in of my own opinion. In your reflection paragraph, you said a lot of the same things I had been thinking about throughout this process. I’m quite happy with how the paper turned out, and through peer reviewing and having someone else’s perspective on my writing, I feel like in the end I was able to balance my own words with the words of the authors we were quoting.

—Jessica Kemp

 

To Maggie Nishan

I would have to agree that paper three was the hardest. I didn’t know where to begin or how. You also had a hard time picking sources just like I did. My first couple of drafts actually had four sources and I had to narrow it down in the end. While your ah-ha moment was with your peer review group mine was with Professor Drown. When I sat down and reread over my second draft after not looking at it for a week I soon realized there was no conversation through the essay. I then copied my essay and started over. I can agree that I do now know my connections throughout all the readings we read and which ones I want to use. Even though my last peer review wasn’t that helpful I would agree that peer review throughout this semester has really helped me with my writings. Like you, I thought peer review was a “waste” but now I see the value in why we have that much class time to meet with our peer review groups.

—Kayla Robinson

 

“We had a class discussion after breaking into groups to analyze “Against Meat” and were asked to make connections between that and other texts.”Lyle says this of one of her two aha moments, which is exactly what happened to me. My thoughts were all over the place at the beginning of my meeting with my peer group. But then Olivia H basically said “all of what you have written is your own thoughts and opinions which I think is hurting your direction. You should figure out what connections you want to make in the text and then use all the stuff you have written out now to support it.” And it was like *boom* everything started to fall into place. I immediately went back to my dorm and banged out 1000 brand new *thoughtful* words, because the first set of 1000 really sucked.

Lyle also mentioned that she was a fellow “troubled middler,” and I think that she was maybe trying to say that her gray sidedness was part of her problem, and (if this is true) then I was in the same boat. I starter typing and I was coast to coast; my thoughts were all over the map and that made this paper so hard because I had no idea where I wanted to end it.

Lyle’s journal was definitely pretty spot on with my own feelings of the aha moment (or my own lack thereof), which was really frustrating for me because in all the other papers, I had a breakthrough aha moment and from there on out, it was smooth sailing. But I have really grown as a writer and a thinker through these struggles. It has helped me to realize what I am capable of.

—Krystianna Ingalls

 

After looking at some other peers “Aha” moments one that I really connected to was Steven Imbrenda. He talks about how this project was very challenging, when the light bulb went off and later on the pieces that he connected together. For me this was the exact thing that happened to me. going into this project It was hard I didn’t know what articles I would be using and how I would connect them all together until in class when we being to talk about them. My Aha moment was when I realized that I could relate Consider the Lobster, What the Crows know and Animals like us. After talking about What the Crows knowin class and hearing about what all the different groups where saying about the connection with other articles it clicked. I was brain storming what articles I would be able to connect all together and some ideas to go along with them, just like Steven. another aha moment was in peer review. My peers were giving me feedback about organization and making sure I wasn’t repeating my thoughts, which I did, again things just clicked. I went back into my paper and reread what I had already written and it was trash. I don’t know why I did not notice nothing was flowing together and I had said the same things over and over again until after my peers pointed it out.

—Hayley Mansfield

 

Dear Sydney,

When reading your entry, I identified many of the feelings you have had to ones I have had. Throughout high school I too always wanted to play by the rules and write a paper my teacher would love. I always felt there was this picture of what our papers were supposed to look like, and that put so much stress on me. I would spend hours critiquing my writing rather than focusing on what I was actually saying. I always thought that was just how you wrote a paper, until I got to this class. After writing all the papers we have, I feel I am much more confident and willing to venture into new territory when writing. Writing is not supposed to be cookie cutter and vanilla, it is supposed to get a message across and act as a vehicle to share ideas. I never really looked at it like that in high school, I never really had the chance. We were very encouraged to make it as cookie cutter as possible and if we stuck with the rubric, we would do well. I am so glad I have grown from that, and now looking into the future I am sure I can write so much better than I ever could before. I am going to take my new confidence in my ability to actually write a good paper, not going off of a rubric, and apply it to every aspect of my life.

—Olivia Marshall

 

Dear Maggie,

I can really relate to your ah-ha moments that you had throughout Project 3. Similar to yourself, I also found myself struggling to find the right sources that I wanted to use in my paper. I knew where I wanted to go with my ideas, but was unsure of what quotes to use to emphasis the points I wanted to make. Similar to you, I found my peer review session extremely helpful. My group was able to guide me through the next steps that I needed to take to advance my paper. I was told to revise my thesis and make it more specific to help the flow of my paper. My group also told me where I could add different text-on-text moments throughout my paper. My group brought up ideas that I never would of thought of before, and I found it very helpful to see their perspectives. I also agree with your statement about how you said peer review was never really beneficial to my writing in the past. In high school, my friends would make minor edits to my paper, but we would never have full on discussions on how we could improve our papers. I actually enjoy peer review now because I know that I am going to receive suggestions that are meaningful to my paper. Overall, I found myself relating to your ah-ha moments and know am thankful for the peer review session we had.

—Christine Nelson

 

Dear Molly,

I relate to your AHA moment most out of all of the G section writing. I also had my AHA moment very early on, my first one at least. I was about 700 words into my essay with no clue where I was going with it; I really struggled with this particular paper. I was sitting on the train on my way home and something about staring out the window made me think and I threw out everything except about half my introduction and began to write furiously about David Foster Wallace, Hal Herzog and their troubled middle. My second AHA moment was a little different than yours, it was when I was sitting down to finish the last few paragraphs of my paper. I was struggling to fit in What the Crow Knows because I’d already made the troubled middle the connection between Herzog and Wallace. Then I realized, that the Jains are the opposite of the troubled middle, they have their minds made up on animals being equal to humans, and there was my connection, about how not everyone falls into the troubled middle, such as myself, and that was when I began to go into detail about what the Jains believed and what they set out to do with their lives. I wrote about how some people have strong convictions since birth and they stick to them throughout their lives, unlike so called “middlers” who may change their opinion if an essay, television program or real world experience affects them in a certain way.

—Caelyn McCarthy

 

Dear Maggie Nishan,

You start your writing off by saying how there was so much information that it was difficult to decide what to put into the essay. I agree and also had that problem. Each draft I made seemed to have more and more sources as they went on. I think I ended up using four sources in my final essay and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I knew most of the articles all connected with each other but I was finding it hard to connect them in a way that went along with my point. I also struggled with finding good quotes and points to go along with my essay, but just like you mentioned, my peer review group helped me overcome that. They told me to include more quotes rather than paraphrasing and also helped me include a naysayer which brought a whole different point to my paper. I’m in the same situation as you, I never thought peer review would help so much but these groups come up with ideas that I never would have had without their input. It just shows that you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help when you’re stuck in an essay. Others bring up ideas that you never would have thought of.

—Morgan Gamble

 

Dear Maggie Nishan,

I really like what you said regarding your process for project 3 because I can relate to that. I agree with this project being the hardest not because of the rubric, but because of the freedom we had with this. Being able to take any path made me have a hard time with picking sources and having one central argument. I had so many feelings about this controversy that I did not know where to begin. One night I just started typing and I ended up completing most of my paper while still thinking that it made no sense. Just like you said, my peer review group helped me a lot as well. They made me realize that I was on the right track and that my paper was not all over the place. I feel as though I felt like it was just because I had so many different thoughts going through my head as I was writing about that one argument. Similarly, my peer review group also helped me to pick out quotes and sources that would work well throughout my paper. They also brought up new topics to think about as well as new suggestions for my paper which I took into consideration. I definitely had my ah-ha moment after my peer review when my peers pointed out that my paper is in the right track and that it is put together nicely. That is something I was not able to see when reading it myself, and it built up my confidence in order to continue my paper. Now that I knew my paper was put together well, I was able to focus on smaller changes that needed to be made, and fix those. I can relate to the process you had for project 3, because mine was very similar.

—Alyssa Boilard

 

Dear Galen,

When writing my project 3 paper, I had the same experience when it came to putting together a thesis that fit with the ideas I was mentioning.  It was difficult to formulate a thesis before I had all my ideas down on paper.  I initially had a thesis that was not strong during peer review, but following peer review my group was able to point me in the right direction to create a strong thesis.  They highlighted sections they thought should be incorporated into my thesis and help guide the paper.  Once I got the feedback and finalized the ideas I was discussing throughout my paper, I was able to take all the key ideas and mold them into a thesis that the reader would be able to look back on and follow.  I too had to contemplate and include all the different angles that could be seen throughout the works in order to create a coherent essay that had all the supporting details where necessary.  Finding the appropriate quotations and overarching ideas that would best highlight my argument was tricky.  While discussing the articles in class, I was able to best identify areas of the texts I found most compelling.  Through my interest in the portions of the texts that caught my eye, I was able to shape them into ideas I could focus on in my paper.  I also started out by focusing on the ideas of David Foster Wallace, and from there identify places where I could link it to ideas mentioned by other authors like Herzog and Andersen.  The overarching arguments I found in Wallace led me to the ideas that had similar themes in other works.  Overall, my writing process and ah-ha moments were similar to yours and I very much related to your “Break on Through to the Other Side” thoughts.

—Taylor Gibson

 

Dear Molly Cadogan,

I can relate to your “ah-ha” moment because this paper definitely allowed for a lot of wiggle room on topics and ideas. For me, I felt like I was just writing down all of the different thoughts that came to my mind and then I would worry about organizing them later. Most of the time when I start an essay, I am afraid that I won’t know what to say, which would result in me not reaching the word count. I can agree with you on the fact that there were a couple of directions I could have gone and both were exciting to me. Although, once I set a main idea to my essay as you said you did, it really helped guide me through writing the rest of my paper. However, I also have the tendency to overwrite because I get excited about incorporating all of my new ideas as you mentioned as well. Once we got into peer review groups, my essay was already over the word limit and my peers claimed that I was talking too much about ideas that I had already mentioned but in different ways. So conclusively, I would say that I had a similar “ah-ha” moment to you: that I needed to condense my paper in order to keep the essay focused.

—Elizabeth Relf

 

Dear Ryan,

Similarly, to you, this class made me consider many of my own views on the meat industry, the environment, and the actions that I take. I took an environment class last semester where we talked about the meat industry being the number one source of harm, from the resources used to feed the animals, to the emissions produced. When I came to this project, I found that the freedom allotted in the project description allowed me to really dive into the ideas I had been developing. I realized that I do think we, as a human population, need to cut back our meat consumption, especially for environmental purposes, but I also believe that we are animals too and we have a right to eating other animals just like other predator species. When I realized my position on this dilemma, I realized that I was choosing a solution of limits. Much like what you described in your aha moment paragraph, I found that with a strong opinion and argument from myself, it was easier for me to write the paper. Finding the depth of my own argument turned into my aha moment as well because with passion and meaning behind the words I was saying and with knowing what I wanted my reader to understand (or feel), my paper went further then I would’ve originally thought possible.

—Megan Morrison

 

Dear Lyle,

The description of your “aha” moments reminded me on my own “aha” moments throughout the course of this project. You had mentioned that you had few and far between “aha” moments. This was the case for me throughout the first week or so of this project as well. I thought that I would never be able to compile my thoughts into one cohesive paper and create a strong thesis that I would feel comfortable writing about for 1500 words. I found it interesting that you showed an interest in the troubled middle. This is also what I choose to write about however I needed an “aha” moment to help me organize all my thoughts. From what you had to say about your “aha” moments it seemed as though these moments for you came about during discussions during class. I found this interesting because for me it was almost the opposite. I felt that after leaving class on some days I would have even more ideas to try and comb through, making it even more difficult for me to decide on the direction I wanted my paper to go. For me, my aha moments came outside of class when I could have the chance to talk through my ideas with one classmate or friend at a time. Once I could talk through my own ideas and get the feedback from one person at a time, I was able to organize my thoughts and I then had an outline for my paper. I found it interesting to learn about the process you had during your paper as it showed me that many people’s processes of writing and thinking have their similarities while still be unique to that individual.

—Natalie Freeman

 

Jordan Sullivan speaks to one of my favorite shifts between writing in high school versus writing in college: the ability to use the first person specifically the word “we”. In high school I couldn’t use the word me, my, mine, I or us. Let alone you, or yours. It was 3rd person or you walk the plank!!! I think this mindset restricted my creativity and forming of my own opinions for years. I was always saying what do the others think and do? What do the sources support? Now as a young adult, I’m adding myself into the essay. What do I think is right and wrong based off of how the sources are presented? I think this also helps connect with the reader to admit that I, the writer am at fault too. With this particular piece, I used to think that avoiding meat was just for the extreme tree huggers. I now realize that it deep roots back to much more about human behavior as a whole and how each individual in society avoids death and that everyone else isn’t just at fault, it’s me too.

Furthermore, I relate to Jordyn’s Aha moments when she talks about the flow of her paragraphs between drafts. Just today I’ve been thinking about the fact that you can date a first draft and dump it. You can date a second draft that has cutesy characteristics you like that are common with the first draft and you can dump it too. You can date the third draft and dump that too and even the so called final draft always has room for improvement. The point is that each draft helps you grow as a person and a writer. You don’t have to marry a first draft and I think this is one of the most powerful things for me to realize in both writing and life.

—Dani Jewell

 

Dear Molly Cadogan,

In your ah ha moment writing prompt I completely agree with how your ah ha moments turned out, as mine did the same. I had written down a ton of abstract thoughts that didn’t tie together at all at my five hundred-word bench mark. I enjoyed writing all of these topics and thoughts, however, like you stated in your response there was no connection or main idea. After some in class peer review, I was able to see and relies that I needed to start focusing my paper fewer more central ideas than a ton of thoughts that made sense all jumbled in my head but not when I poured it out onto a paper. This was one of the biggest ah ha moments for me on this paper and helped me carve out my paper for the one-thousand two-hundred-page word mark.

During my peer review group, I got a similar comment that you did, with my peer review group saying my thoughts where good but I need to break up the paragraphs some. I then was able to use this information to break up my essay into a more structurally sound paper As a result of the new shorter paragraphs this made I was able to expand on my ideas even more.

 

—Wyatt Blackstone

I read over the “Aha!” moments of Sydney Wolf and realized that while my own moments were different and more related to my own struggles, they came from the same places. Her first moment was a discussion with you, and I too had a couple of “aha!” moments when I discussed specific aspects of my paper with you. Her moment focused on her anxiety and lack of confidence in her writing. Mine were smaller concerns, but in a way, they did have to do with my own lack of confidence in the things I was saying or the placement of ideas. I had questions about structure because I had a naysayer in my conclusion. I also had trouble with the structure of one of my sentences. I couldn’t get it right and wanted someone else to read it so I could know where the disconnect was. I relate to her struggle of trying to achieve exactly what was expected instead of doing more expansion of ideas and making it your own. Her second moment was from peer review. She was told that her perspective on lobster was unique. While I do not fully share that experience, I also did not grow up eating lobster. One of my “aha!” moments was also from peer review. I always find that the perspective of others is really helpful in realizing where my paper needs help. My moment was more of a realization that I needed to put more of my own voice into my paper. This isn’t so much a different perspective like Sydney, but we both realized that we had to put ourselves more into this paper. Overall, I think that these “aha!” moments helped both Sydney and me transition from the mindset of high school writing to the college level of expectations. Both of our moments allowed us to rise to the occasion and to become more confident in our skills and opinions.

—Kristen Lebel

 

Dear Galen,

It was really interesting reading through the passage you wrote about the “aha” moments you experienced writing paper three, mostly because your “aha” moment was nearly identical to mine. When I first sat down to write the paper, I honestly had no idea where I wanted to start or how I was going to narrow my sources down to three texts that could be used to support one cohesive argument. This was something I wrestled with for several days. How I formed my thesis was very similar to you; I let my ideas guide the conversation without a physical thesis present. My “aha” moment came from reading over the sometimes fragmented yet thoughtful ideas I had written down on the paper and forming connections between those ideas, ultimately piecing together what would become my thesis for paper three. I really appreciate that there is another person who took a similar approach to crafting their thesis as I did, because often times I give myself a hard time for not knowing what I want to write about right away or not having one concrete argument set in place. I believe for myself, and you may agree, that this “aha” moment allowed me to approach this paper from an angle I hadn’t approached paper 1 or 2; it forced me to really consider my own opinions and craft an argument I was content with. At times I was confused, frustrated, and lost, but when I let my ideas guide the conversation on the page, I realized that my argument was hidden in my thoughts, which ultimately allowed me to craft a thesis and an overall paper I am happy with. As you mentioned in your passage, these obstacles can be challenging, but they ultimately help us to grow as thinkers and writers and leave us creating work that we are proud of.

 

—Olivia Hardy

My response to the AH HA moment In Lyle Massoia Ah HA moment. I feel I have a lot of common ground with her thoughts. She talks about how she has few and far between but when she does have a moment it really benefits her writing and more importantly the flow of her writing. While I was writing paper 3 I struggled a lot with it and every once and a while I received my own AH-HA moment where I was able to write 500+ words in one sitting with proper flow. The paper was either super easy or a complete drag, there was no middle ground in this. All of these AH HA moments just came from her brain, she also goes on to talk about them in class discussions that helped her as well. For this part of her AH-HA moments, we have some variations. I feel that in class I never received an AH HA moment but instead a continuous growth in my understandings that lead to my own brain’s AH HA moment. In class, I used as more of a guide to lead me on the right path so when I was alone I could put together a well thought out paper.

—Carter Marquis

 

Dear Haley Gagne,

Regarding your first “Ah Ha” moment, I actually had an opposing view. From what I could understand, you seemed to feel like having more freedom and more ideas to work with would make project 3 easier in comparison to earlier projects where we had less freedom. I disagree because I felt like it was easier to write the first few projects when our topics were narrowed down. With less to think and write about, I found the first projects less challenging to focus on an argument I was trying to make. I’m very curious about your paper writing method because of your ability to work with more material and not have to “wrestle” with the angle you wanted to take. I find it interesting that to one person, more freedom makes the project more difficult and to another, the same amount of freedom makes the project less difficult.

However, I did feel the same way about this project being a final opportunity to “really pour a lot of myself into”. With your second “Ah Ha” moment, I can agree with having a realization about what the conclusion paragraph should be about. I feel like the epiphany you had about it being a “final destination” for your thoughts rather than just a summary is something a lot of people can relate to. Personally, I think it is a combination of both because you do still need to somewhat summarize what you talked about throughout your paper.

—Sarah Smith

 

Dear Molly,

After reading the other classes AH HAH moments, I feel that Molly Cadogan’s was had a similar writing experience to mines. She reflects back to the beginning stages of paper 3, and how she was unsure of what direction she wanted her writing to take. After reading so many relevant texts, my challenges began earlier than Molly’s with no being about to decide which texts resonated to my own beliefs. We both overcame this obstacle by just sitting down one day and writing, without any outline to restrict out thoughts. Molly’s AH HAH moment came in 500 words, when she recognized that she had shifted her perspective on the argument. My AH HAH moment came in a little later, specifically the week before the paper was due, which was terrifying. But we both stayed true to our own thinking and decided to rewrite considerable portions of our papers. I personally put in the time to revise my previous thoughts because I started to enjoy the complex thinking involved with writing this paper. This was in contrast to revising my other papers to where I changed my whole direction in because my new ideas would be accepted by others more. Molly also recognizes the importance of liking your own writing, and being proud of the final result, no matter how must time it took to get to that point.

—Amy Bhagaloo

css.php